I apologize for the overly sentimental poem below - blame introspection and late nights. I think I will let it stay, though. I still kinda like it, whether or not I would have posted it if I thought anyone was reading this.
The topic of relationships and break ups and all the messiness that goes along with loving someone has been on my mind a lot lately. It's one of those classic questions - what brings people together, what makes them stay together, and what can tear them apart, when it seems like they suit so well?
A friend of mine got dumped by his girlfriend of over three years recently. I shouldn't say dumped, because I don't like to think of it that way - rather as the probably inevitable parting of people who were about to live a seven hour drive from each other. She will be going to McGill in the fall (and we shouldn't hate her just for that, jealousy is not attractive) and the prospect of a long distance relationship can really make a person question how strong the bond is that holds them to their significant other. I myself, living in a residence environment last year, saw over ten really strong relationships at the beginning of the year turn into two or three. And those two or three, it seems to me, could only survive because of either a ton of hard work, dedication and faith from both parties, or because at least one of them is a doormat.
Even as a person whose boyfriend was only a 40 minute walk away, I definitely felt a strain and an adjustment in our relationship. So much is new, that first year of university. You're thrust into so many new situations, you meet so many new people, and you are faced, as a person in a relationship, with so many new temptations. Late night study parties and late night drinking fests alike can lead to actions you will regret (or not) in the morning, and I have been nothing but thankful that Duncan and I have stayed strong, and, I think, had a little of our "new couple" arrogance beat out of us in the process.
But what, in the end, makes a couple last? I'll let you know as soon as I know for sure, but I think what you need to have is a combination of real friendship, real trust, and, most importantly, a real desire to be in a relationship at such a young age. I know a boy whose parents really thought that, instead of having a girlfriend during his first year of university, he should be single, so that he could properly enjoy being young. So that he had no commitments except the ones put on him by school and work. And there is a lot of sense in that thought! Isn't this the time in our lives when we're supposed to be absolutely selfish? I mean, before we know it, we'll have whole new responsibilites, be it marriage or children or full time jobs and home ownership. Now is the time when we can really play with our lives, experiment, and figure out who we are. Of course, for me, this sounds horribly undesirable, and I would rather discover who I am along with someone who's discovering himself at the same time (two for the price of one?).
But you have to wonder...are we too young to be spending so much of our lives on other people?